he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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