That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
