Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
