a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
