I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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