Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
