What a fucking waste of an outfit
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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