one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
