He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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