So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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