TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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