turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
