Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When are your genitals available?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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