Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
