But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she told me i tasted like america
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
