Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
