have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
