He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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