My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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