I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
