Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
