i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
sarcasm needs its own font
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she pinky promised me she was 18
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
