Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
