More tranny stories later!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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