Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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