i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
