Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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