Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
