The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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