this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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