I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Farmville is her only friend.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
