Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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