Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
