So drunk its hurt
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
