I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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