Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
