ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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