yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
