I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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