One girl and one boy is just not enough.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
