Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
