My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
