We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
