Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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