How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
