is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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