There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
