so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
