nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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