I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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